Help Is Not A 4-Letter Word by Ted Potter

And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 

-- Luke 11:9

How many of you like to ask for help?  Ok, how many of you have found joy in giving?  Let me qualify that-- true giving, from the heart, when you give freely, and are not feeling like you're on your last leg, spent. 

Many theologians take "ask and it shall be given" to mean, "ask of God, and he will answer your prayers".  I agree with this take on it, but I believe it means something more.  I believe it means, "ask of each other" as well. 

In society, especially today in our country, we are trained to believe that asking for help usually means you're weak or pathetic.  It's often viewed as a shameful act to be avoided if at all possible.  A picture comes to mind of a gravestone of someone who died an early death, engraved with the words "Hey, at least I didn't ask for help."

We're shown examples of strong men, bravely and stoically facing tragedy, maybe even cracking a few jokes, maybe even crying in the shameful privacy of their closet before they "get themselves together" and "keep on, keeping on".

Mothers and wives are held up to impossible standards, women who are amazing in every way, managing schedules, feedings, and general care, but still feel inadequate because, in the words of Martha Stewart, "there is no excuse for store-boughten croissants."

Right after Jesus answers the question "Lord, how shall we pray?" with The Lord's Prayer, the very next topic dispels the myth of independence.

 "When the strong man, fully armed, guards his own dwelling, his goods are safe. But when someone stronger attacks him and overcomes him, he takes from him his whole armor in which he trusted, and divides his spoils. 

-- Luke 11:21-23

Kind of tarnishes the cherished image of the rugged individualist, beholden to no one, completely self-sufficient, doesn't it?

Still, I found it hard to shake the idea that I should be totally self-sufficient, and I decided to be as independent as I could. So when I got home from work the other day, first thing I heard was my daughter listening to some music on the stereo. I told her to turn it off, since she didn’t make that music, someone else did, and we needed to learn to be more independent. She said, “What am I supposed to listen to then?” so I handed her a couple rocks I found outside. “These make a cool sound when you bang them together”, I said. She didn’t agree, and turned the stereo back on. So, I thought, “I’ll show her”. I went downstairs, and turned off the power. After all, we didn’t generate the electricity, so we were being big babies having to rely on someone else for it. I stumbled back up the stairs, banging my shins a couple of times in the dark. When I got to the top I nearly fell over my wife, who was waiting for me there. For some reason, she was not in a good mood. “Did you turn the power off? I was cooking dinner!” I replied, “Not with food we didn’t grow ourselves!” I replied, and tossed her stir-fry into the compost pile. Inexplicably, she was in an even worse mood now, and said “What, we’re supposed to GROW our own food now?” “You want us to be a leech on society?” I said. “Shame on you. “ She started chasing after me with a broom. “Stop that!” I yelled. “Here—if you’re going to chase me with something, use this stick I found.” My daughter started chasing me as well with those fine rocks I’d given her—some gratitude! I couldn’t believe how much resistance I was getting to this important life lesson. My son and youngest daughter were enjoying the show. “Daddy funny,” he said with a big grin. “See?” I said to my wife and daughter. “THIS is how the pioneers entertained themselves, forget that fool TV or stereo system.” I ran outside-- my wife was getting more and more accurate with that stick, and I needed some space. I stopped in the yard, very satisfied with my first efforts in teaching my family how to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when I heard the lock click on the door. Pretty soon my clothes were making an artistic pile around me as they were thrown from the bedroom window. “Don’t bother!” I yelled up, “I need to weave and sew my own anyway! Now, where can I plant some cotton seeds around here…?”

The second chapter of Acts talks about what happens right after Jesus is taken up to heaven after the 40 days he spent with the apostles after his resurrection.  The Holy Spirit comes upon them and they are, spiritually, on fire. Literally on fire, as the description depicts the Holy Spirit as a flame that splits into many little flames that reach out and touch each one of them.  Peter preaches a mighty sermon in a square in Jerusalem, and 3000 people convert on the spot.  They form the nucleus of the first Christian community.  Acts goes on to describe the community they built.

All the believers continued together in close fellowship and shared their belongings with one another.  They would sell their property and possessions, and distribute the money among all, according to what each one needed.  Day after day they met as a group in the Temple, and they had their meals together in their homes, eating with glad and humble hears, praising God, and enjoying the good will of all the people. And every day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.

-- Acts 2:43-47

Whoa.  What's up with that?  Kind of sounds like a cult! Or worse, socialism. But even though I need my space a little too much to go completely the way of that first Christian community, as a society wouldn’t you say we have a lot of room to grow in that direction? Growing away from this dangerous and somewhat limiting ideal of independence, and towards “interdependence”. Now, what’s interdependence? Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians puts interdependence this way:

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" (1 Corinthians 12:21)

And wikipedia, the on-line, free encyclopedia, has a great definition of it:

Interdependence is a dynamic of being mutually responsible to and dependent on others. Some people advocate freedom or independence as a sort of ultimate good; others do the same with devotion to one's family, community, or society. Interdependence recognizes the truth in each position and weaves them together.

In other words, we’re all in the same canoe. And a rising tide raises all boats.

So in this spirit of interdependence, and in the 2000-year shadow of the first Christian community, I’m pleased to announce the creation of the Henrietta UCC Community board. This will be a forum where folks in our congregation can ask for or offer a thing, a skill, advice, or a prayer. At first, this will be by way of an e-mail list, and those of you who are interested can sign up on the list on the bulletin board at the back of the church, but for those of you whom are technologically challenged or trying to simplify your life without email, we will be trying different things to find the best way to reach out to you, too. So feel free to sign up, either way. We have so many needs in our church community, and so much to offer each other. Won’t you join me in drawing closer together as a congregation, as we reap the joy of the give and take in our lives? After all, as Louise Hay says in A Course In Miracles, “Everything I give, I give myself.”