First Sunday of Lent February 29, 2004

Exodus 20:1-6 Rev. David Inglis

Stan played by Alan Dailey

Pastor reads the scripture lesson: Then God spoke all these words: I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Stan (angrily standing up and beginning to head toward the door): That does it! I’m outa here!

Pastor: Excuse me, sir. Did we do something to offend you?

Stan: It’s not you. It’s God! What kind of God is that, who is so jealous about you worshiping anything but him, that he’ll punish not only you but your children and your grandchildren if you don’t follow his orders. I guess this religious crap isn’t for me after all. See ya.

Pastor: I don’t know if I’ve ever heard such honest, instant feedback before . . . .I’m sorry, what’s your name?

Stan (stopping in his tracks): My name’s Stan.

Pastor: So Stan, you got up your courage to come here today for the first time, looking for something to give you some hope or peace, and what you’ve heard so far is a lecture from God about how you should put him above anything else, and if you don’t he’s going to punish not only you but also your children and your grandchildren. That doesn’t seem like a very warm welcome.

Stan: No. It kind of reminds me of my father: "Do what I tell you, or else, because I’m the boss around here!"

Pastor: Well good, I’m glad you expect more maturity from God than that. And I think maybe you’ll find it, and maybe find what you’re looking for, if you’re willing to work with me a little here. I love your honesty, so I’m going to make a wild proposal. How would you feel about coming up here and having a conversation about what you’re looking for and what this Bible reading is saying, and see if we can find a place of connection?

Stan: (Shrugging and walking up to the chancel) Hey, what have I got to lose? Ask me anything you want. I won’t tell you anything I don’t want you to know, and nobody here knows me anyway.

Pastor: I really admire your courage.

Stan: Courage? You might call it desperation.

Pastor: That sounds pretty heavy. Can I ask you what made you decide to try coming to a church today?

Stan: Actually, you could say it was my father.

Pastor: He’s still giving you orders?

Stan: Nah, he died in January.

Pastor: Oh, I’m sorry. So how did he get you here?

Stan: Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about his life lately. Hardly anybody went to his funeral, because hardly anybody cared about him. I guess that’s because he hardly cared about anybody. He lived a whole lifetime with not much of anything to show for it. I got to thinking about what a waste that was.

Pastor: So how did that get you here, Stan?

Stan: Well, it’s made me look at my life. And so far it’s looking a lot like his. Oh, I might have a nicer car and more stuff in my house when I check out– like that’ll do me any good then. Maybe a Kleenex or two might get used at my funeral, maybe not. Then that’ll be it. I’ll be planted in the ground and quickly become a memory that dies out like a burning ember. That will be what I have to show for my walking this earth for whatever years I get.

Pastor: That sounds pretty empty.

Stan: Yup. That’s how I feel. Empty. Thing is, I don’t know where I went wrong. I ain’t no saint, not by a long shot. But I ain’t no sleazeball either. I’m just a regular guy, doin’ what I had to do to climb the ladder every man is supposed to climb. Huh, and now a lot of women are climbing it too. You know, that ladder never has a top, at least not that I can see. You just have to keep climbing. It doesn’t really matter if you’re near the top or near the bottom. There’s always someone on the next rung down wanting to get where you are, and someone on the next rung up trying to keep ahead of you. But you know what I’m seeing? This ladder everybody’s on doesn’t even go anywhere. It’s a ladder that leads to nowhere!

Pastor: So you came to church today to see if there was maybe a different ladder, or a different path, that might lead to somewhere and help you feel like a somebody with a life that means something.

Stan: Yeah, something like that.

Pastor: But you don’t want to get too close to a God who might ask everything of you–demand that you put it all on the line, clear out all the distractions, and worship God and God alone.

Stan: You got that right. I didn’t work all my life to get what little I have, and prove who I am and what I can do, just to give it all away to some jealous God who can’t tolerate a little competition. I’m my own man, and I’ve earned every scrap of self respect I’ve got. Ain’t nobody taking that away from me–not even your God there in that book.

Pastor: You really value your freedom to be who you want to be and chart your own course, without any restrictions or limitations put on you.

Stan: That’s right, Reverend.

Pastor: How has that worked for you in your other relationships–like your family and your work? You don’t have to go into any details here, but just check it out.

Stan: Well, it has had a cost to it, if that’s what you mean. I’m not going to let any woman or any kids own me, so I’ve walked away from two marriages when everybody started acting like I was just there to meet all their needs. And work? Well, it’s a dog-eat-dog world, in case you haven’t heard. It’s not smart to let anyone get too close to you, or to trust anybody too much. But you’re a pastor. What would you know about the real world out there?

Pastor: Well, I know quite a bit about the drive to take your life into your own hands and go after what seems to make your ego feel happy or secure or more powerful. That’s something I have to deal with every day. But let me show you something about the real world out there, in here, and everywhere you look. What would happen to an atom that said, "I don’t know why I’m here, but I’m sure as heck not going to get attached to any other atoms and be part of some molecule. I might have to sacrifice my individuality and lose some of my freedom." Or what would happen to a stomach that said, "Hey, this guy keeps throwing his pepperonis and double martinis into me, and just expects me to deal with it. I’m going to stop my bellyaching and take some action. I’m going to cut loose from this body and try making it on my own. From now on, I’m just gonna take care of Number One."

Stan: Hmmm. I guess they’d end up feeling kind of empty. Well, the stomach definitely would feel empty, because it needs the mouth to feed it! I guess in the end, the atom would probably feel pretty lost and useless too. Is that what you’re saying I’m doing?

Pastor: Well, I don’t know. What would you say?

Stan: Well, yeah, I guess. But you have to! I mean, you can’t just sell your soul to your spouse, or your kids, or your business, or anybody else. They’ll just end up using you. Every human being has a selfish side, don’t they? They’ll take what they can get from you if you just give yourself to them and treat them like they’re some kind of god or something.

Pastor: Exactly! Well said, Stan!

Stan: What?

Pastor: That’s exactly what God was saying in that passage I read that made you want to walk out.

Stan: What do you mean, that’s what God was saying?

Pastor: God was saying that if you make anything or anybody into a god, and worship it by putting it first in your life or serving it above everything else, things won’t go well for you, or for your children or grandchildren either. It sounds like that’s kind of proven itself in your case. Your father did that, and it’s left you lost and lonely, and I suspect life isn’t a bed of roses for the kids you’ve left behind.

Stan: Wait a minute. But I’ve been careful not to serve anybody like that–my wives, my kids, my bosses, my friends. I’m my own man.

Pastor: Oh, so it’s no good if you serve someone else’s human, limited ego. But it is good if you devote your life to serving your own human, limited ego. That opens the door to a fulfilling sense of purpose.

Stan: Hey, I think I smell a trap.

Pastor: It’s not a trap, Stan; it’s reality. How would serving your own willful, limited ego above everything else make you feel more fulfilled and satisfied than an atom spinning around in its own little orbit, free but endlessly alone? You’re right–there should be more to life than that. Your inner sense of that is what brought you here today.

Stan: So you’re saying the answer is to serve this jealous God who has a monumental ego problem?

Pastor: If you see God like your self-centered father supersized to cosmic proportions, then definitely not. That wouldn’t be worshiping God–that would be worshiping a devil. But if you understand God as the Source of all things, the One who seeks to unify all things into a beautiful whole, the One who created you to be a part of that whole, and who loves you more than you can ever love yourself, and the One who knows and wants what is truly highest and best and ultimately the most satisfying for you, then idolizing and serving anything less than that makes no sense at all. It’s always going to lead to disappointment.

Stan: But what about this "jealous" stuff, and zero intolerance for disobedience? That doesn’t sound too loving to me.

Pastor: Yeah, that word "jealous" sure has some negative connotations. In Hebrew, the language this part of the Bible was written in, the word here doesn’t mean "vindictive;" it’s more like "zealous." It suggests a parent who has the best interests of the child at heart, and who zealously watches over them, wanting to protect them from all the self-destructive traps they can fall into. Basically what God is saying here is, "Look, people, I’m the God who created all things and created you, and who holds the past, present and future in my hands. I have a perspective you don’t have. If you surrender your feeble human wisdom to my higher wisdom, it will go well for you. If you love what’s highest, you will be lifted up. But if you love and serve what’s lower, or blindly follow only what you can see as you grope around in the dark, you’re going to keep bumping into reality. Or you’ll keep spinning in your own little reality, thinking you’re free, but imprisoned by your own puny notions of what you need. When you love and serve the Ultimate Truth and my Surpassing Love, you become part of a beautiful order, and it has a life-giving ripple effect down through the generations. If you love and serve your ego or anything that conflicts with what’s good and true, it has a destructive ripple effect down through the generations." See, Stan, this isn’t really a jealous threat. It’s God telling us how the real world works.

Stan: Well, when you put it that way, I guess it makes sense. I guess it kind of explains why I feel empty and like my life doesn’t have any meaning. I’m kind of tired of being like that atom spinning in my own little orbit. You’re right, it’s not really freedom. It’s just my own prison instead of somebody else’s. So how do you get into God’s orbit? I mean, I hardly know the first thing about God or Christianity and all its beliefs.

Pastor: There’s only one belief that you need to get started: that there is a God and it isn’t you! You simply believe in the God who believes in you. And then you start to love the God who loves you with a total, unconditional love that never ends. You know, at its heart, sin means "separation from God." You confess your sin, your separation, as a way of letting God reach through it and draw you back into his embrace. And you serve this God, who took on human form, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and stooped down and washed the dirty feet of his followers, saying "Love one another as I have loved you."

Stan: Jesus did that?

Pastor: Yes, it was one of the last things he did before he gave himself to us fully by dying on the cross.

Stan: But washing his followers’ feet, and dying on the cross? What kind of joy and satisfaction is there in that? That sounds like degrading slavery and suffering to me!

Pastor: Ah, now we’re getting to the awesome mystery that I think you’re just on the verge of being able to understand. When you’re tapped into the love and power and spirit of God, your pride and comfort, and even your body and your life, fade in importance, because you discover something far more important and precious and beautiful–your soul. Jesus said, "What does it profit a person to gain the whole world and lose their soul?" "Whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." That’s pretty advanced spirituality. But really, every rung up God’s ladder requires a death or a letting go of something that’s lower. That’s the only way to get out of our own way so we can be lifted higher. But for every loss, there is a higher gain. For every death, there is a beautiful rebirth. After the cross came the resurrection.

Stan: So does God’s ladder have a top?

Pastor: Well, Jesus is the highest point I think we’ll ever see in this life. Maybe we’ll see even more in the next. But this ladder has a direction. It takes us towards home. Every rung takes us closer to being home with our highest selves, being home with the people God has given us to love, and being home with God. And even just being on the way home gives us a feeling of having a home in this universe, and helps us know that we’re a tiny but important part of a very awesome plan.

Stan: Wow, this has sure given me a lot to think about. I’m starting to see my life in a whole different way.

Pastor: What do you think the next step is for you?

Stan: Well, maybe it’s to trust this God you’re talking about. The first rung of God’s ladder for me would be to let go of some of my stubborn pride and let God be God of my life and begin to show me the way towards home.

Pastor: Wow, Stan, it sounds like you’re really ready to start. Someone said, "Faith is a journey, not a destination." And we’re all on this journey with you, Stan. I suspect you’ve helped each of us think about what the next rung is for us. Maybe we can all come before God together right now, and get in touch with our longing for home. How do we need to get out of our own way so our soul can take the next step closer to home?

PRAYER